All in a day's work

Another late night. I figured this one would be a 'bust'. "Scholarship Nite" at a local car dealership. In year's past, I would've tossed the invitation in the garbage and not give it a second thought. But, when your numbers are down, and you have a new boss, etc., you worry that your absence will be duly noted at such events. What if all the other colleges show but us? That'll look reeeeeeeeeeal bad. Okay, I'll go. At the very least, I won't have to stay all the way 'til the end. . . 8:30 pm.

A bust, for sure. Nobody official to greet me. In fact, when I approached one of the employees and told him what college I was from, he replied jokingly(?), "You are??? Well then get outta heeeeere..." Not laughing, I said, "Okay. No arguement here." But then he directed me to set up my stuff at a table. Well, only one other college bothered to show up. One of our major competitors, so I guess it was good that I came along. Nah... it wouldn't have mattered. Of the few people who came, nobody cared about us colleges, they just wanted the money from the scholarship contest (screwiest rules I've ever seen, by the way!).

Having decided I would put up with this for 1-hour max, I settled in at my table and tried to get comfortable with my surroundings. I think that all the salesmen's wives were in there with their little rugrats (shoulda been my first clue). Lotsa balloons, popcorn (second clue?), and appetizers. Yeah, I chatted with one or two potential prospective students/parents... but who knows?

I suffered the ticking minute-hand by making idle chit-chat with my colleague, I'll call her Ms. Brown ('cuz she was decked out in brown clothing) who was standing in front of my table. She was a little rough around the edges. Not your typical college rep --- which makes her a perfect fit for the school she recruits for. But, who am I to judge? She was at least nice enough to pass the time with, I guess... and we both shared giggles about our wasted evening.

Suddenly, Ms. Brown stopped in the middle of her sentence. She was no longer looking at me, but beyond me. Her jaw dropped as she said, "I don't believe this..." I turn my head only to see an organ grinder wheeling in his GIANT organ apparatus... complete with a monkey (in diapers) on his shoulder. Immediatley the wailing circus music began (do-do-doodle-loodo-do-do-do-do!) The rugrats went NUTS! The organ grinder, decked out in leider-hosen(sp) looked like the Jim Carey character from Dumb & Dumber... with "summer" teeth! I snapped my head around to Ms. Brown and proclaimed, "I'm SO outta here!" and stood up and immediately began packin' up my wares.

Ms. Brown was seething with envy at my decision. For, unfortunately, her table was right in front of the carnival act. The rugrats had set down their McDonald's Hi-C cups on top of her school banner, along with plates of cheese cubes and diced pepperoni, and bags of popcorn. "I'm trapped!" she freaked, looking at me helplessly. I said to her, "Watch this!" I turned around and started moving all the little kids stuff off of the banner while the mom's stood there taking pictures of the 'freak show.' Nobody noticed a thing. Tossed Ms. Brown her banner and said, "Let's go!" The gentleman coordinating the scholarship contest came up to me and jests, "Okay, ladies... you're the next act! Whaddya gonna do?" I replied, "We're gonna do a "disappearing act!" And with that, we were gone.

I'm so afraid to go to sleep tonight. I just know I'm giong to be visited by chattering, diapered monkeys in my dreams. Where's the 'window pane' when you need it?!?!?! SO creepy!