"Will that be on your "Frequent Shitter's" card, ma'am?"

Yes...another lunch trip to Target, and, another shit attack. This one, near catastrophic. I was in the audio section, in search of a CD for my hubby (tomorrow is our 3yr annivesary...and he needs a CD like he needs a hole in the head). Suddenly - "Buttock-lock". Man, what a challenge. What made it worse was all the CRAPPYASS music I was coming across as my eye scanned from A-Z. Actually, I only made it up to about "F" before I got the break I was looking for and I headed for the bathroom.

Problem-I had a buncha stuff in my hands. Can't go into the bathroom w/unpaid merchandise. Would there be time to 'hook-up' with a Red-Shirt to safely guard my items until my return? Quick check of the lines...there were none. I bravely chanced buying my items (3 CDs, a pack of white, cotton, granny-weatheralls, and a cheapy necklace) before darting for the restroom. The time was again fast approaching.

SAFE POINT! Queen Freak poised on her throne. The civilians were smart that day. Musta seen me coming and cleared out before having to suffer my wrath. However, a woman came in with her chatty baby. You could hear them before they even entered the restroom...on the way in, the kid was like, "Whuh, whuh, whuh, whuh..." in consistent chime - just enjoying the sound of his own noise. Then he enters the restroom, "Whuh, whuh, whuh, WHHHHOOOOOAAAAA!"
I figured it was just then that the stench slapped him in the head like a 2-by-4. Eh, at least the kid is learning about this stuff early on.

After finishing up, I immediately went out to the customer service desk and returned the 3CDs I had just purchased not 5minutes earlier. You see - I do some of my best thinking on the throne. It was an impulse buy. All I need to do is rent CDs from the 'brary and I can burn 'em. Saved me $30 bucks. 'Cept I STILL need to get something for my hubby by tomorrow!