Menagerie of Freaks

I cannot take credit for my title, for it comes from my friend, S.EntropicSauce. It does, however, accurately describe the scene of the capstone activity of our week of welcoming students back to school.

Someone had the wise idea of having a 'Palooza-style' event involving local bands. Well - it actually is not a bad idea. Prolly woulda worked better on a weekday, but oh well. ANYHOO...
Even though the event ended at dusk..."the freaks come out at night!"

There's April, our resident gimp who hobbles around collecting empty soda cans (she's either cashing 'em in or has one helluva curio display in her house). She took a seat front and center of stage...and slept through the ENTIRE six hour event...her baggy full of cans never far from reach. She was prolly pissed that we were actually charging (nominal fees) for food, for you typically don't see April at an event unless she can get her mits on a free stale danish!

Then - there was "Cousin of OCD Man." WOW! Mothers - lock up your daughters...and sons, and pets...and household treasures. There's just no tellin' what this dude'll do!!! He was the opposite of April --- rather than sleep throughout the entire six hours of palooza, this kid roamed the area for the entire six hours. Pretty smooth gait, considering all the ticks he had to shake-off while in motion -- flailing fingers, scratchy ankles, head spins, and, the absolute BEST, goin' up to his fourth knuckle (if there is one) and checkin' the contents pulled out of his nose!!!!!!
After a while, there was no need for any of us to disguise or hide our agape mouths and looks of SHOCK & AWE at this guy. For he'd steal a quick glance our way...and simply carry on!

Then, the Granny Retard constituency shows up. Personally - I was excited! Finally -- someone I could play with (you shoulda seen the get-up I had on that day. I woulda fit right in). The "Retard Handlers" brought fold-up chairs for about a 1/2 dozen women. Women of all shapes and sizes. Some with teeth, some without. Some with matching clothes, others...well. Man...no one in this group had any rhythm whatsoever. I thought these kinda peeps would really dig our palooza. You know, toe-tapping, clapping, yelling, trying to sing, etc. (you've seen 'em at parades!) None of that goin' on. They just sat there. One of them looked at a tree trunk the entire time.

The poetry readings were quite special too. Not that these folks fell under the 'freak' category... just made me wanna stand up and yell, "SHUT UP!!!" in mid- read. I mean, is it a requirement to wear black in order to read poetry? Yea, I'm talkin' to you, my monotone friend. Does anyone write a poem about happy things anymore? O, you poor tortured souls!!!

Lastly, perhaps I should throw myself into the freak category (don't think there'd be much protest on that one!). I alluded earlier to my fashion get-up for the day. After a long (short) week, Friday morning's dressing session was met with, "O, I don't give a fuck!!!" I had on a large T-Shirt advertising our week of events, a long denim skirt, anklets, and tennis shoes. Hair pulled back, Ruth Buzziesque (think park-bench skit from Laugh-In). I looked like I just hopped off the short bus. I was hoping I'd come across some cool hippie clothes from one of our palooza vendors, but after checkin' out that display, I realized anything I purchased wouldn't
change my look for the better. My pal, S.EntropicSauce, said what I really needed to complete my outfit was a bright green floppy hat with a bigass daisy on it! Hey...at least I looked like a sexy retard that day, for my skirt had a long slit in the front. Niiiiice, stubbly legs for all to see!

Actually, someone described my look that day as "Psychadelic Amish Hippie." Still tryin' to figure out the 'psycadelic' and 'hippie' part of that. I get the Amish part. You know what I'm talkin' about...those women who don't cut their hair (for religious reasons) and think they're goin' a little wild when they wear a denim SKIRT!!! God forbid they wear denim JEANS. That must not be in the Bible either. A denim skirt. How edgy. Next stop for them is, no doubt, the pole.

And, today, my wardrobe is none the better. I woke up 10 minutes before I had to leave for work this morning. I look like HELL. I'm not leaving this office 'til noon, I tell you. And, speaking of work, I should close my blog out for today and do some office cleaning. Always good for the soul. Thank you all (maybe 2 or 3 of you?) for reading. 'Til next time...